Content warning: This spotlight includes mention of sexual assault
“One of the greatest gifts we can give each other is to witness someone’s story,” Virginia shares in a short video on the foundation’s website. When Virginia and I sat down over Zoom for a conversation about her time at UCSB and subsequent work with The Starfish Connection, her commitment to that principle became clear.
Virginia’s journey of earning her Bachelor of Arts in History was anything but linear. Though her parents were eager for her to pursue music at the University of Southern California, Virginia was set on UCSB after getting a taste of the social scene and beachside living as a teenager. Upon arrival as a freshman, Virginia describes feeling lost in her identity but determined to have the experience she had made college out to be.
“I loved living with people my own age and the feeling of ‘you could do whatever you wanted to do.’ I found living on Del Playa extremely fun, until it got to a point of feeling a little confining,” the founder explains.
Virginia’s trajectory through her college years changed abruptly when she was the victim of a sexual assault. The aftermath was characterized by pre-trial court dates and attempts to heal from such extreme trauma. School became a second thought, as Virginia recounts frequent quarters spent on academic probation. While she walked with her class at graduation in '00, Virginia’s diploma cover remained empty. She soon left Isla Vista to immerse herself in a lifelong passion– singing with her band. It would be nearly a decade before Virginia would return to the UCSB campus to finish her degree at the age of 29.
“I felt ashamed and as though there was something really missing. I felt like I really needed to complete this,” Virginia says. With only two quarters needed to graduate, she re-enrolled part-time for a year, earning straight A’s and a spot on the Dean’s Honor List. She describes the experience as profoundly healing.
“There are other people like me who don’t have a linear voyage. That is the thing I really love about UCSB– even though I deviated from the norm, UCSB kept inviting me back. I had an incredible academic advisor who helped me to excel, which pushed me on this different trajectory that led me to where I am today.”
Virginia has accomplished a lot since her college graduation. She went on to serve in the nonprofit sector throughout Santa Barbara County for over thirty years, devoting her time to organizations like Stand Together to End Sexual Assault, Shelter Services for Women, and Planned Parenthood. In 2015, she retired with the plan to spend more time with her husband, John Wigle. The two shared a vision of a nonprofit where people felt empowered to tell their life stories free of judgment, after finding that experience within each other. This dream was halted by another tragedy in Virginia’s life, as John was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer and passed away in 2018.
“John’s whole thing was this starfish poem,” Virginia begins grinning, explaining the backstory of The Star Thrower by Loren Eiseley. The story follows an old man walking on the beach after a big storm, who spots a child throwing starfish back into the sea. Observing the thousands of starfish scattered across the shore, the man questions the child's efforts, pointing out that her actions seem insignificant in the face of so many. In response, the girl picks up a starfish and throws it as far as she can into the ocean, saying “I made a difference for that one.”
“I didn’t really get the poem while he was alive. But then, I finally got the principle of helping one person at a time. The Starfish Connection came from that.”
After John’s passing, Virginia partnered with a friend and entrepreneur to put their shared vision into action. Six years later, Virginia helps others tell their stories– from the good to the bad– without shying away from the details.
“I was a history major. The vision of history gives you so much to look back on and to understand. Everything in history is repeated, but the common tie that we all have is oral history and storytelling. I started Starfish with OurStory,” Virginia states.
Now, The Starfish Connection has been helping individuals in the Santa Barbara community for approximately two years. There are two segments of the nonprofit: crisis funding and storytelling. The Crisis Funding program operates through the help of trusted partners and nonprofit agencies. Clients are identified as in need by partnering agencies that are unable to provide emergency financial assistance. Typically, the team is able to issue funding of up to $2,500 per individual within 24 hours. The Starfish Connection has provided emergency assistance for everything from graduate school tuition to rent payments.
The other half of The Starfish Connection is community storytelling. This comes in two forms, namely OurStory Connection and the Talk-O-Truck. The former is an online platform that offers a space for storytellers to feel safe and empowered in the sharing of their life experiences. The Talk-O-Truck is a mobile recording studio that functions with a similar purpose and is available for both private and collaborative community events. The truck has made appearances at local events like the Pacific Pride Festival, Mujeres Makers Market, and Earth Day.
“Our experiences are different but our feelings are the same,” Virginia writes on the nonprofit’s website. These words are brought to life in her shared vision of a healthier, happier, and more transparent community.